The Heyday Blog

Q & A with “Take Me to the River” editors Joell and Coke Hallowell

For ten years, Coke Hallowell and her daughter Joell asked people with deep connections to the San Joaquin, “What was your life like along the river?” With candor and enthusiasm, people responded. Take Me to the River recounts the many trials—damming, overpopulation, climate change—and triumphs that a river undergoes in our times.

What was it like to hear all these amazing stories from folks with deep connections with the river?

History truly comes alive when it is particular and personal. It was impossible not to be enthralled by these tales as they were told to us with such genuine enthusiasm and gusto. The storytellers’ exuberance was so palpable that we think it remains apparent in the written form, even after the inevitable cutting and rearranging that happened in the editing process. Most of the storytellers, after having lived so many years by the river, were still excited about its riches and rewards—the fishing expeditions, canoe trips, the wildflowers that continue to blossom each spring. We couldn’t help but be swept up by these energetic anecdotes. The hours zipped by and it was always a disappointment when our time was up. Often, just as we were packing up our camera to leave, a stack of family photo albums would be brought out for our viewing. That was always a particularly exciting moment and one that was hard to walk away from. Precious, though often yellowed and tattered, many of the photos had been passed down through several generations. These photos are a big part of what inspired us to turn our video interviews into a book. They are truly remarkable.

If readers could get just one thing out of your book, what would it be?
We observed one major commonality in all of our narrators, even those who were not activists or environmentalists. They all had incredible reverence for the earth, a great respect for the land they grew up on and for their current plot of ground, whether big or small, owned or leased. Each storyteller seemed to have a sharp sense of what was surrounding them, and an acute understanding and curiosity for what had been there before. They would inevitably point out a new bloom, the sound of a bird nesting nearby, or the remnants of a past dwelling. If readers are inspired to look more closely at the world around them—to take note of what flies past their homes, from which direction the clouds blow in, how the full moon lights their bedroom—that would mark a wonderful triumph for us, and would carry on the legacy of our storytellers.

The forces of this earth are ever powerful. It seems that even when all odds are at work against nature, it has a way of taking back its strength—especially when a group of people put their minds together to help. The citizens of Fresno and Madera counties saw a river neglected, they saw looming threats to its survival, and they have begun to help the river regain its strength. People with passion are ever powerful. It was wonderful to meet so many of the individuals who have worked so hard to protect the San Joaquin River and set it back on its natural course.

Anything surprising happen that you did not expect?
Sometimes, though we’d shown up to hear stories of life on the San Joaquin River, we would suddenly be transported to the Midwestern plains, the vineyards of France, a cyclone fence factory in Oakland. The human story is innately tangential, our lives are full of varied encounters and diversions—and one story always leads to another. Our goal was to try to stay focused and collect stories of the San Joaquin River, but the diversions were always a welcome bonus. A story that begins at the river doesn’t always stop there.

What challenges did you encounter?
The process of collecting first-person stories was not as easy as we’d imagined. We wanted to make sure that the storytellers were able to tell their stories in their own ways, in their own voices. We had to learn to be a very particular kind of interviewer. We had to be active listeners and to follow every nuance while not interfering with the natural course of the story. So as not to leave any detail unturned, we’d attempt to keep track of where we’d been confused and which elements seemed to be missing, but we’d try to wait to ask our questions until after the narrator’s trajectory had come to its natural conclusion.

We found that rather than coming with a predetermined set of questions, we just needed to say, “Tell us about your experiences on the river.” People are usually very good at telling their own tales, though sometimes our narrators would first give us a quick ten-minute wrap-up of their stories. They’d already told their stories a million times—their families had heard them over and over—and they imagined that we wouldn’t want to hear all the many fine points and particulars. We had to assure them that we were eager to hear it all, and that’s when the fun began. I think this was an enjoyable experience for most of our interviewees, too. We were a fresh audience. When we got to what appeared to be the end of each story, we always asked, “Is there anything else you’d like to tell us?” Invariably there was another story, sometimes the best yet.

It was often difficult not to join in. We both knew many of the characters that showed up in the stories, we’d been to many of the locations along the river, and we’d heard similar details in other interviews. It was a challenge not to say, “Oh yes, we’ve been there. We know him, too. Yes, it was wonderful, wasn’t it?” We tried our best to let every story stand on its own, and to keep our own feelings and experiences out of the way. That may have been the biggest challenge of all. We both love the stories of the San Joaquin River.

 

Q & A with “Turned Round in My Boots” author Bruce Patterson

Upon returning to American soil after the Vietnam War, Patterson has only one rule: “Never take a job you couldn’t quit.” And so begins his formidable journey of learning how to re-adapt to civilian life. Told with remarkable honesty, Turned Round in My Boots is a powerful and engaging tale about hard work, true love, and surviving the aftereffects of war.

What was your worst job ever?
Hands down, my worst civilian job was hosing out henhouses. Each house held about twenty thousand cages and I cleaned a few. The job was so bad it was funny and I wrote a little about it in my new book. Like so many of my other jobs in agriculture, the best that can be said for it is that it only lasted for a few days.

What job was the best?
There’s something deeply satisfying about bringing in a harvest, no matter what the crop or how hard the labor. Then, horses are charming animals and I always loved being around and working with them. I especially enjoyed watching newborn foals, with a little nudging from their mothers, gathering their legs under them and wobbling to their feet, and then, in the coming days and weeks, watching them doubling and redoubling in size while learning how to be horses. But in terms of danger and adventure, thrills and spills and flat-out fun, felling big tree timber was my best job. There’s nothing like it. All I can compare it to is jumping out of airplanes and even that’s a stretch.

What writers have inspired you?
After the war I spent eight years living without electricity and during that time I devoured books. Since, as a present to myself, I quit school on my sixteenth birthday, you might say I was making up for lost time. History and philosophy fascinated me and I took a self-guided tour through world literature, enough of a tour to get a taste of some of its flavors. But I’m an American who has never doubted the wisdom of the Melting Pot; I love my people and it’s always been American history, philosophy, and literature that have been my wellsprings. Not because I think Americans are special. I’ve passed through enough foreign countries to know that all people are created equal, not the least because all people think they’re special. If I had to choose the one writer who has most inspired me, it’d have to be Twain.

Did your book turn out differently than you intended?
Since I set out to write a prequel to Walking Tractor that would, among other things, explain how I wound up a longhaired greenhorn logging the redwoods, the story was pre-existing and I just needed to remember how I was back when I was twenty-two years old and wintering in the loft of a teetering barn. I knew I was a messed-up combat vet, of course, but I’d forgotten how messed up and how it colored my thoughts and actions. War changes a person forever and it doesn’t matter who you are. War poisons the soul. So being a vet became a much bigger part of my book than I intended.

What was most difficult about writing your book?
Sometimes the worst part of surviving a war is coming home. Reliving some of my troubles and knowing how typical I was of vets, not just of my generation but of all generations, soured my mood some, given current events and all. Yet I couldn’t be honest without it and it motivated me to be honest with the young vets now wearing my boots the way I once wore the boots of my fathers.

If readers could get just one thing out of your book, what would it be?
That nature is the great healer.

Any advice for young vets returning from today’s wars?
When I was growing up, one of my favorite “uncles” had landed in Normandy with the 82nd Airborne on D-Day. He never said a word about his experiences because he couldn’t bring himself to think about them. About twenty-five years ago I was working in the woods with an old dog-faced bulldozer operator. I must have said something wrong because, his voice fierce, he declared that he’d hiked from Omaha Beach to the Rhine River stepping on human corpses. We locked eyes, I saw his foxhole gaze, and I’ll be damned if the old coot wasn’t a teenager again.

As for advice, I hesitate to offer any, since my own “readjustment” hasn’t exactly been a model of success. But I do know that, at least until you’re ready to fly the nest, it’s crucially important to stay in contact with people who have gone through what you’ve gone through. Also it doesn’t hurt to remember that it isn’t foot soldiers that start wars and to learn to forgive. You survived for a reason and, if you give yourself a chance, you’ll find it soon enough.

Finally, tell me about your new story blog? What’s up with that?
After writing two books in four years, I have no desire to start another. Not yet, anyway. Still, my head is filled with stories. In my new book I wrote a little about my childhood and—surprise—I enjoyed it. Ten years ago I couldn’t have made such material entertaining, but now I can. As we say Out West, my childhood is a rich vein and so why not mine it? Since I also like writing about travel, beauty, making people laugh, and free-styling with my prose, why not start a story blog? Because military-style discipline has never been my strong suit, why not commit myself to posting three original stories per month for one full year? I still don’t know what “writer’s block” feels like, so maybe now I’ll find out. Maybe I’ll gain an audience, sell some books, and find my way to my next one. No doubt it’ll be fun.

Q & A with “Cityscapes” author John King

An outgrowth of “Cityscape,” a weekly column that debuted in the San Francisco Chronicle in 2009, Cityscapes is part history, part guidebook, and part architectural primer. John King is the San Francisco Chronicle’s urban design critic. He joined the paper in 1992 and has been in his current post since 2001. His writing on architecture and urban design has been honored by groups including the California Preservation Foundation, the Society of Professional Journalists, and the California chapters of the American Institute of Architects and the American Planning Association. He was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize for Criticism in 2002 and 2003.

What are the first three things you look for when looking at a building?
How it meets the street is essential, because that sets the tone from the start. The quality of execution counts more for me than style; if a building has clarity and snap, looks are secondary. And then there’s the challenge of context. Does the building fit into its surroundings, even if the fit is provocative? Or is it just a lump unto itself? The latter is too often the norm.

What were your favorite places as a kid?
Growing up in Walnut Creek, a pal and I used to head into “The City” every quarter or so. We’d take BART, ride the cable car to the Cannery, explore North Beach, have lunch in Chinatown and then meander back towards BART. I quickly realized that, say, Grant Avenue was different than, say, Sunvalley Mall in Concord. And that I preferred the former.

What is the most notable trend right now in architecture? 
I’m really excited at how, after decades of talk, transit-oriented development is taking root in the suburbs as well as older cities such as Oakland and Berkeley. The frustrating thing is, most of it isn’t very good in any sort of urbanistic way. The quantity and location is laudable; now we need developers and architects who genuinely strive to make places where people will want to be, not simply structures that are convenient.

Is there an architectural style that suits cities best? 
No. If a building is well-proportioned, with good details and an inviting sidewalk presence, it doesn’t matter whether the details are classical or modern, gothic or high-tech, flat-topped or crowned with a spire.

If readers could take one thing away from Cityscapes what would it be?
Buildings aren’t simply objects. They’re parts of a whole—and the whole is in a state of constant flux. Change is a fact of life in cities, and we should relish chances to learn from the shifting perspectives around us.

Any advice for aspiring architects?
Pay attention to the details and whatever you do, do it with conviction. When architecture becomes a business, where a building has no more nobility than a to-do list, we all lose out.

Did you study architecture in college?
Nope. That’s the beauty of journalism—you get to follow your passions, and learn on the job.

Q & A with “Making Home from War” editor Brian Komei Dempster

Written by twelve Japanese American elders who gathered regularly at the Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Northern California, Making Home from War is a collection of stories about their exodus from concentration camps into a world that in a few short years had drastically changed.

What is the Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Northern California?
The Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Northern California (JCCCNC) is a vibrant community-based organization in the heart of San Francisco’s Japantown. A gathering place for the Japanese America community, the JCCCNC is dedicated to the preservation of Japanese American arts, culture, history, and identity. Executive Director Paul Osaki and the staff have been wonderful supporters of our project, offering classroom space and administrative support and collaborating with us in the production and publication of our current book, Making Home from War, and our first collection, From Our Side of the Fence.

Why did you decide to put together these writing workshops?
Over ten years ago, in 1999, a group of the writers originally approached me to teach a class at the JCCCNC. At the time, they were primarily motivated by their desire to document their stories for their own families, especially the younger generation who were unaware of or only vaguely familiar with the incarceration. I put this first Internment Autobiography Writing Workshop together with that more personal focus in mind, and as the class continued, we realized the potential of the stories to reach a wider audience. A number of the stories from that workshop appear in our first anthology, From Our Side of the Fence, published by Kearny Street Workshop in 2001, produced by the JCCCNC, and supported by a grant from the California Civil Liberties Public Education Program (CCLPEP).

The second workshop at the JCCCNC, Resettlement and Beyond, began in 2007 for related yet different reasons. As we had compiled the work for From Our Side of the Fence, which focuses largely on incarceration, we had become aware that the postwar experience was an incredibly rich and complex saga that deserved its own collection. Moreover, we felt that the Resettlement experience was an area of creative and literary inquiry that needed further attention and recognition. Finally, the age of the writers played a role and made our task more urgent: time was even more precious this time around, and we needed to get the stories told.

How did your new book come to be?
We received a very generous and timely grant from CCLPEP that allowed us to create an anthology on the postwar Resettlement of Japanese Americans. Through the support of the JCCCNC, I conducted a series of autobiographical writing workshops, entitled “Resettlement and Beyond,” in 2007-08. In a series of handouts created by me and distributed during the classes, students were given multiple topics to write about pertaining to their Resettlement after World War II: leaving camp; homecoming; starting over in school and with jobs; material and psychological impact; connection and empowerment in friendships, relationships, and communities; appearance and identity; perceptions and expectations; gender roles. Other topic ideas evolved from class discussion and the sharing of student work. At each class, students shared their new work and revisions and received critically constructive feedback from me and other class members. In addition, I met with each writer multiple times for individual conferences, speaking in-depth with each author about the strengths and areas to improve in their writings, and ordering and revision strategies. In class and during conference, the authors and I engaged in dynamic exchanges about form and structure, voice and point of view, characterization and dialogue, theme and conflict. Through this multi-pronged process—workshops, conferences, writing, rewriting, and editing—each writer created a strong body of work that will be included in the anthology Making Home from War. Jill Shiraki, our project administrator, ensured the whole process went smoothly; she helped to gather photographs to accompany the writers’ stories and other important resources for the book.

Why is it so important for these elders to write their stories?
The writers, through the creative and collaborative process, transform the trauma of incarceration and feelings of anger, shame, and sadness into empowering stories that give an in-depth perspective of their experiences. By documenting past injustices and, in turn, sharing these stories with others, we deepen the general public’s knowledge of the incarceration and Resettlement; reach educators and students who can use the book as a resources; and motivate other former camp prisoners to tell their stories.

What challenges did you encounter?
While the project has been successfully completed, several challenges arose during the production of Making Home from War. The challenges of such a project included the following: how to best design and structure the course curriculum; how to handle the delicate and emotionally charged subject matter; and how to get the workshop participants, many of whom had limited formal training as writers, to relate their experiences in a way that was artistically powerful. In addition, the advancing age of the writers (generally in their seventies and eighties), various health problems, and diminished energy levels slowed the production of the work and made the revision process more tiring for the writers than in the past. Sadly, one of the writers—Florence Miho Nakamura—passed away during the project, and Jill and I worked with Flo’s family to ensure her work was included in the manuscript. The spirit of collaboration was evident not only in the completion of Flo Nakamura’s section but in Yoshito Wayne Osaki’s section, which was coauthored by his wife, Sally Noda Osaki.

A Hmong Generation Finds Its Voice in Writing

The New York Times (December 31, 2011)

By

FRESNO, Calif. — In many ways, the preoccupations of the young writers who gather every week here over supermarket cheese and crackers are those of young people everywhere. They grapple with loneliness, the mystifying behavior of siblings, being gay, the parents who do not understand them.

(A story cloth at the center depicts Hmong history. Annie Tritt for The New York Times)

But as the first generation to grow up with a written language, English — rather than the traditional spoken Hmong — the members of the Hmong American Writers’ Circle are addressing a new kind of coming of age in America. It is one in which living room sofas are moved for the arrival of a shaman on Saturday mornings and in which Fourth of July fireworks are avoided because they elicit terrifying flashbacks among their parents.

Mai Der Vang, a 30-year-old poet and a project director for New America Media, an ethnic news organization, writes about the lives her mother and father could not have:

And what you learn on back-to-school night,

when your mother does not know how to

write your name on the chalkboard

of your fourth grade class.

They call themselves the 1.75 generation, mostly born in the United States but still strongly identifying with their Hmong roots. They are the sons and daughters of the hundreds of thousands of Hmong villagers in Laos who were covertly trained by the Central Intelligence Agency to repel communist forces during the Vietnam War. Although the oldest writers were born in Thai refugee camps, most grew up in the Central Valley of California or in the Twin Cities.

In the United States, traumatic memories of wartime atrocities are often compounded by language issues, poverty and social isolation. The writers’ parents grew up not only without a written language, but without much knowledge of the outside world.

In monthly workshops and in “How Do I Begin?,” an anthology of their writing recently published by Heyday Books, Ms. Vang and her colleagues try to make sense of the dualities of growing up Hmong American, especially the hidden inner lives of parents often expressed as an inchoate sadness.

In Laos, only one child — usually the eldest son — was chosen to attend school, said Pos L. Moua, 41, a creative writing and English teacher at Merced College. When his father was younger, he spent his days “taking food to his older brother, a long journey by donkey,” Mr. Moua said. Now 74 and ailing, Mr. Moua’s father had deeply wanted an education; when his son read him a poem he had written, he wept.

“They have an urge to talk about feelings,” Mr. Moua said of his father. “But the limitations in the new world changed the way they perceived life.”

The limitations have been profound: about a quarter of Hmong families nationally live in poverty. In Fresno, the percentage is even higher, at 35 percent. And in California, nearly 43 percent of Hmong ages 25 and older have less than a high school diploma, according to the American Community Survey of the United States Census.

In a study of the Hmong community by the Center for Health Disparities of the University of California, Davis, poverty was cited by families as a major contributor to mental illness. In the 1990s, a wave of teen suicides in Fresno cast the challenges of assimilation into bas-relief, with truancy among boys still a major issue.

“In the U.S., the family power structure gets switched around,” said Shwaw Vang, a clinical social worker at Khasiah House, a Hmong mental health clinic in Madison, Wis. “It’s the young who are able to communicate with the larger community, which gives them authority, while parents are relegated to religious and healing ceremonies and taking care of the house.”

Writing is a way to reinforce “Hmongness,” said Burlee Vang, the circles’ 29-year-old founder. Mr. Vang, who favors a mohawk and a goatee and is not related to Ms. Vang, started the group seven years ago “out of loneliness,” he said. With no Hmong literary tradition, “in college, all these Asian kids were asking, ‘What’s Hmong?’ ” Mr. Vang said. “You didn’t have a history book to give them.”

The circle started inauspiciously in the party room of a Chinese restaurant where readings were interrupted by clanking ice from the soda fountain dispenser.

(Members of the Hmong American Writers’ Circle in Fresno, Calif., have tackled the challenges of  assimilation in their work. About a quarter of Hmong families in the United States live in poverty. Annie Tritt for The New York Times.)

The themes of their work provide a rare window onto the Hmong-American experience. Mai Neng Moua, for instance, offers a tragicomic soliloquy on the role of the “nyab,” or Hmong daughter-in-law, and how it conflicts with feminist values (she suggests a handbook called “Nyab for Dummies”). Some, like Khaty Xiong, write about the abyss between Hmong parent and child:

Father learn to love me,

I promise I will cleanse the soil between your toes

And brush the dust from your hands,

If only you will love me.

In her poem “Your Janitor: Is My Father,” Ms. Vang writes about the anonymity of her father’s work picking up trash from office cubicles. Ms. Vang’s mother has suffered from depression, though as a girl Ms. Vang never understood what it was.

A clue to her mother’s circumspect nature arrived inadvertently when Ms. Vang stumbled upon an unopened suitcase in her closet. It contained the tattered embroidered jacket she wore as a girl the night she had to flee her Laotian village. Such tangible remnants, which she calls “objects of exile,” triggered her mother’s concealed memories.

“You might find these relics in a suitcase, and that’s how the stories happen,” she said. “Parents don’t sit down and say, ‘Let me tell you. …’ ”

Several weeks ago, Ying Thao, 29, discovered, while watching a travelogue on Hmong TV, that his mother was a master artisan in Laos, celebrated for making hemp cloth from scratch.

“Here in Fresno, she goes to Hancock Fabrics, JoAnn or Walmart,” he observed. “I sensed she didn’t want to be reminded of herself.”

Mr. Thao, who is gay, has his own difficulties sharing his life with his parents. “There is literally no word for homosexuality in Hmong,” he said. He grew up in a close-knit family with four brothers and six sisters in a one-bedroom apartment in Fresno. His young nephews, however, are growing up “only eating American food and hardly speaking Hmong,” which saddens him.

Coming to terms with their parents’ experience, from Laos to Fresno, and preserving it in the printed word is the major impetus for Soul Choj Vang and his colleagues:

Now, here I am, adopted citizen,

Not rooted in this land, unable to taste

The spirit in its dust,

To sense its moods in the pollen.

How do I begin my song?

“Our parents will never write,” Ms. Vang said. “So we write for them.”

 

Mariah K. Young First Winner of the James D. Houston Award

Heyday pronounced emerging author Mariah K. Young the first recipient of the James D. Houston Award on Saturday, September 17, 2011, at the Savory Thymes “Adventure in the Garden” event in Mill Valley, CA. On hand to celebrate were publisher Malcolm Margolin, author Maxine Hong Kingston, poet Al Young, and surfer Sam Hiona. Ukulele music by Ka‘ala Carmack accompanied hula dancer Michael Yamashita, and a live auction was emceed by Scoop Nisker featuring “once-in-a-lifetime Heyday experiences.” Houston’s wife, Jeanne, and two of their children, Cori and Joshua, were also present.

Known as a masterful writer in both fiction and nonfiction genres, Houston authored more than twenty books, among them Bird of Another Heaven, Where Light Takes Its Color from the Sea, Gig, and Farewell to Manzanar, the last of which he co-authored with his wife, Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston. Jim was also a dedicated teacher and passionate promoter of emerging authors. He died in April 2009. The award in his honor comes with a $5,000 advance and publication by Heyday.

Award winner Mariah K. Young’s debut collection, Masha’alla and Other Stories, will be published by Heyday in November 2012. The book is a captivating short story collection that brings readers deep into the varied lives of remarkable individuals at the fringes of dominant culture. Set in the lively and unpredictable landscape of East Oakland, Young’s subtly crafted stories and unforgettable characters continually surprise and delight as she invites us into the worlds of diverse cast of genuine, hard-working people: from a hired driver who gets more than he bargains for with an unusual cab fare, to a day laborer whose daily search for work leads him to the edges of human sacrifice and hope, to a plucky house cleaner named Chinta who sets up impromptu beauty parlors in the houses she cleans, and many more.

Malcolm Margolin, founder, publisher, and executive director of Heyday, says of the first award winner, “This courageous work bursts with literary power. Fresh, honest, and exuding warmth, it cuts straight to the heart of modern lives, reflecting our unflagging allegiances to love, family, luck, and hope. We are proud to publish Young’s first book and help launch the career of someone sure to become a significant writer in the years ahead.”

On being chosen as the recipient of the award, Mariah K. Young says, “It’s an incredible honor to have my writing become a part of Houston’s legacy; I feel not unlike a sapling burgeoning from the seeds of a grand and magnificent tree. I am humbled, grateful, and excited to receive this award, and to continue exploring [in my writing both] California and our American experience, with its many gilded and golden dreams.”

About Mariah K. Young

Mariah K. Young was born in Alameda, CA, and spent her childhood living in the San Francisco Bay Area and in Lahaina, HI. She graduated with an English degree from California State University, East Bay, where she won the first annual RV Williams prize for fiction. In 2008, she earned her MFA from UC Riverside, and that same year, she attended the Squaw Valley Writers’ workshop on fellowship. She currently lives in Los Angeles, where she teaches writing and is working on a novel.

About the James D. Houston Award

While known to the reading public as a writer, Jim Houston was also a dedicated teacher and passionate promoter of emerging authors. Upon his death, friends and family of the Santa Cruz author established a fund to honor his memory and further his legacy. Nominations and decisions as to which writers to support will be made collegially by Heyday’s publisher, Malcolm Margolin; by the Houston family, represented by Jim’s wife, Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston; and by friends of the late author. Heyday will publish, distribute, and promote the books selected and is committed to matching donations on a dollar-to-dollar basis from funds of its own. For more information on the James D. Houston Award, visit www.heydaybooks.com or contact Kristi Moos at kristi@heydaybooks.com, or at (510) 549-3564, ext. 311.

Lipstick, high heels, push-up bras, and cancer

Editor’s note: Dr. Lois Goodwill is a retired clinical psychologist and co-author, with the late Don Asher, of Entangled:Lois Goodwill A Chronicle of Late Love, a memoir in two voicesreleased by Heyday in July. Born in Montreal, Canada, she holds degrees from McGill University in Montrealand the Wright Institute in Berkeley. She enjoys attending theater and symphony performances and volunteer work. She is an enthusiastic hiker and walker. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of eleven. She lives in San Francisco.

Six silvery cylindrical tubes stand upright is a small ceramic pot inside my armoire. These attest to my pleasure in color. None are vivid, all are slightly muted shades or rose, peach, wine and bronze. Each,  if only I could use any,  would give a thin gloss of color to my lips. I would carefully choose the shade dependent upon what I had decided to wear and with consideration for the occasion or activity. Light nude rose with a slight sheen for my early morning forays to the gym or out for a long walk; peach with less gloss, but not quite matte, to pick up a beige jacket worn with a straw colored silk and tangerine striped scarf; a more towards wine application for the lips when wearing deeper shades of blue; a brighter bronze applied on days when I wear black or grey tones. For weeks now I have been denied any and all of these enhancements.

I am being treated for a cancerous series of eruptions on my lower lip. This is nasty. The flesh eating ointment prescribed by the dermatologist to eradicate any remaining cells after a surgical process a few weeks ago leaves my lower lip blistered, cracking, stinging and even bleeding. There is a steroid cream to minimize those evil effects but I am cautioned to use it sparingly. It too has side effects. I also have a tube of an ointment that can be used for a baby’s bottom as well as aging stinging lips to provide a moisture barrier. Tomatoes sting; smiling hurts; salad dressing pains; sun exposure is forbidden and the prescribed sun block hurts too. What is a gal to do? The dermatologist assures me that at the conclusion of treatment I will have “a new lip”. “What”, I ask him “ would a seventy-five year old person want with a new lip?”

Ah, the frailties of the flesh as it thins and shows the consequences of holding body and soul together. Do rhinoceros have such concerns? Do I want to be one or even have the epidermis of one? Probably not. But they need not look longingly at  their collection of lipsticks as they dress for their day in the jungle.

I do not remember when I first began to wear lip color but I do remember the first pair of high heels bought at Larry’s Shoes a few blocks from home. Those badges of entry into womanhood were black suede with Louis heels, about three-quarters of an inch of curved Louis heels. I modeled them for my dad. “Nice”, he said as I attempted to saunter down the hall of our apartment. I might have been thirteen years old and until my seventy-third year I never wore any feminine footwear that raised me up more than  two inches. Never any bright lipstick; never any truly high heeled shoes. There was a further deficit as well.

In the female arsenal of charm enhancement along with the lipstick ( subtle or not) and the high heeled shoes ( not necessarily so high or teetering) comes the bondage of the bras. In today’s world young girls are fitted with training bras before they have breasts but back when I was showing signs of what would soon become abundant curves, bras weren’t encouraged before there was anything to put in a brassiere cup. I was precocious in that department and bras became one of the banes of my female existence as a generous endowment atop a narrow rib cage confined me to unattractive slings to support those which the boys found so enticing. No push up enhancers for this woman. Now this is an area that has improved much as now in my mid-seventies I am more slender than ever and fashion has turned its eye to creating lacey underpinnings even for well endowed femmes. Okay, the endowment may be a little lower than when it rode perkily high, but lace, wire and spandex compensate delightfully for the pull of gravity. And I have been blessed. Unlike some of my friends and relatives I have healthy intact breasts; no cancer there to necessitate invasive and mutilating procedures.

Win some! Lose some! The lip should heal. There are pretty bras in my lingerie drawer and on my closet floor there are at least three pairs of “grown up” shoes; not stiletto heeled but definitely big girl dainty shoes for special occasions. The lipsticks wait their turn too! Bravo for the pretty brassieres. Those are a daily indulgence, their lace froth reassuring my femininity, unseen but not unsung!

Down and Dirty in the Valley

In our last installment about the creation of the photo book, Valley of Shadows and Dreams, we were happy to announce the debut exhibition of the work at Umbrage Editions (www.umbragegallery.com) from March through May, 2012.

Valley of Shadows and DreamsSince then, our team has been slogging through the very unglamorous and painstaking work of preparing the photographs to be printed. Ken Light, the photographer for this project, has been working closely with the team. Diane Lee, production manager at Heyday, explained to us that because digital and print technologies are different processes, it’s a lot of work to re-create the high quality images that reflect Ken’s artistry in the old fashioned, wet darkroom where images were made from film, vs the offset process of printing the book. The photo team – Uri Korn, Dan Figueroa and Erika Gentry –  has scanned both film negatives and paper photographs and then prepared several iterations of the digital files throughout the summer. In particular, Dan Figueroa has spent countless hours cleaning and adjusting the same files over and over to make the final product match the original print.

For her part, Diane has been going beyond the call of duty and has requested that the printing company make several proofs beyond the normal series. Ken and Diane have spent hours peering at the minute detail of press proofs with a loupe, commenting on qualities of the proofs that are difficult to see on monitors vs the extremely fine details offset printing can capture. The goal is to bring the highest quality visual imagery to our eager audience at the best price possible. We are confident that the many, many hours spent squinting at computer screens and print proofs will result in a lush, beautiful book that will take the reader on a unique journey through the heartland of California.

Valley of Shadows and Dreams photo team working to adjust prints for the press run. Left to right: Dan Figueroa, Uri Korn and Ken Light.” © Melanie Light, 2011.

Lids

Editor’s note: Dr. Lois Goodwill is a retired clinical psychologist and co-author, with the late Don Asher,Lois Goodwill of Entangled: A Chronicle of Late Love, a memoir in two voicesreleased by Heyday in July. Born in Montreal, Canada, she holds degrees from McGill University in Montrealand the Wright Institute in Berkeley. She enjoys attending theater and symphony performances and volunteer work. She is an enthusiastic hiker and walker. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of eleven. She lives in San Francisco.

She wore the finely striped cloche at an insousciant angle, pulled down just so. The thin pink and orange stripes set off her sweet firm cheeks and her cornflower blue eyes glowed with pleasure when she spied her Grandmother right beside the stroller. There is little as charming, even bewitching, as a gal in a hat. Of course if the gal is nine months old and looks at the world with wonder and delight, then the bonnet can only add to the charm.

Older gals go for hats too! And so do guys. Think of Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones! There was style. And Gene Autry in his white cowboy best. And a lot of young contemporary fellows in fedoras with the brims getting unfortunately more and more narrow. A brim frames the face. Women know that, although in the era of the flappers, their cloches had minimal brims and those ridiculous “ fascinators” favored by some of the royals at a recent high society wedding had no brim at all. I’m not even sure there was any hat there to speak of. Just a whimsical concoction perched on the head by means of a headband or some other invisible means of attachment.

Bill Cunningham in Sunday’s New York Times captured images of stylish NY women outside Tiffany’s emulating a famous shot of Audrey Hepburn in a little black dress and a very wide brimmed black hat. That was a stunning look then and today’s homage to the Breakfast at Tiffany’s scene recaptured some of that glamor. Today’s women were not all hatted but all were chic with shoes of the envy category. Some wore elegant long black gloves. Only the most elegant had chapeaux in homage to the memorable Miss Hepburn of long ago.

I too have a collection of hats. Five cylindrical boxes, each about nine inches deep and about fourteen inches in diameter are stacked on the top shelves of my wardrobe closets. Each hat box contains an accessory that made me feel wonderful when I bought it and ever so beguiling when I wore it. Interestingly, I never wore any of those hats, save one, to any event with gentlemen in attendance. My hats were chosen to compliment clothes that I wore to a women’s club that met weekly. It was a place with a staid and genteel elegance where women wore hats at least once a year on a commemorative Hat Day. Of course, a member or her guests could wear a hat on any day, but that special once a year day honored the tradition of the earlier years when the properly dressed woman did not go about without gloves, a hat and shoes and handbag that matched her outfit.

I have another hat that travels about in the trunk of my car. It is a reminder of a brief love affair. The gentleman who had bedazzled me said that I must have a hat to protect me from the hot sun when we went walking in his neighborhood or sat in his garden. If the gentleman said I must, then it was to be done. While visiting a friend up in Grass Valley I chose the simple straw hat with a leather thong threaded through a wide brim. The thong can be shortened by means of a wooden bead that slides up closer to the chin to keep the hat on the wearer’s head in event of a breeze. Loosen the thong and the hat hangs girlishly down one’s back. I was not a girl, had not been a girl for many decades, but I was in love, a transient state that made me feel oh so girlish and pretty. The lover had soon decamped; the hat was not my best look but still it travels about in the trunk to remind me whenever it catches my eye that there was such a moment of hope and happy frivolity.

Another hat lingers in my memory. Or perhaps it was a montage of hats, all worn by my slim and very fashion conscious mother. She was a sales woman in a high end department store, specializing in designer clothes for the well -to-do upper crust of Montreal where we lived. She traveled to work on the city buses wearing suits and accessories of the same level of refinement as the clothing she sold. Each suit had a hat of toning shade, sometimes fashioned from the same fabric as the suit and created by a local milliner from yardage that was bought with the suit. Mom had a peculiar habit of dressing in the following order: panties, girdle ( even slim women wore that underpinning) , stockings, bra, slip, suit skirt, high heeled shoes and then the hat. I do not recall when she put on the blouse and jacket but to this day I have an image of my mother clicking about her bedroom in those splendid hats with a suit skirt and high heeled shoes, making ready for her day as a shop girl to a wealthy clientele.

My father wore hats too. No baseball caps nor golfer’s hats for gentlemen in those days. He wore a fedora to work and I loved to play dress-up in his hat and big shoes. The hat tilted downward over my face and the shoes would stay in place if I  attempted to step forward in them. I didn’t want my mother’s chic hats and shoes, only my dad’s sartorial badges of adulthood for me.

In my San Francisco front hall I have a collection of vintage photos. One of my favorites is from the time post-depression when WPA funds were made available to pave my hilly street with bricks. The bricklayers all are shown wearing white shirts with rolled sleeves, dark pants with braces for support and dark derby style hats as they toil bending over their physically challenging  government funded work at another time when jobs were scarce.

All these reflections unleashed by a smiling baby in a cosy knitted cap as her Mom pushed her stroller up that same San Francisco hill where the long ago derby hatted men had laid the brick road now paved over with decades of asphalt.  Hats off to all the memories!

Reflections on California’s State Park Crisis

My dad has a map of Annadel State Park printed on a purple bandanna. As we hike up to lake Ilsanjo, my family and I take turns checking it. When we get to the lake, we dip it into the cool water and take turns tying it around our necks. Ham and cheese sandwiches followed by M&M-heavy trail mix never tastes as good as it does after a dusty, hot hike. After lunch, we reapply sunscreen, sling our backpacks over our shoulders, and retrace our steps back down the trail. And all the while, we talk. To be fair, this isn’t some miraculous transformation at the hands of nature’s majestic power. We’re a talkative family in most settings. But something about the exercise combined with the quiet serenity of the environment, the beautiful simplicity of following a dirt path that lopes between proud pine trees and golden grass hills, draws the conversation from us like nothing else. Our topics range from theoretical philosophy to the deeply personal details of our inner lives. Distance from cell phones, television, and internet access allows the kind of sustained, uninterrupted discussion that is often impossible in even the closest of modern families.

Annadel and its fellow California state parks have been weighing on my mind because of the budget cuts that the recession has necessitated. While I understand that these tight economic times require the California government to trim state spending wherever reductions will harm the lowest number of people, most of our politicians would agree that restricted access to the breath-taking natural environments of our state is not something to be celebrated. The richness and diversity of California’s natural landscapes cultivate in its inhabitants an abiding love for their home. From Yosemite to redwood forests to deserts, from the melancholic beauty of Northern California beaches to the sunny fun of their Southern California counterparts, our state parks leave us no shortage of places to walk on a nice summer day. As of this September, 70 of California’s 278 parks will close until financial conditions improve, and rangers, lifeguards, and janitors will face layoffs. This will result in the loss of 220 jobs, according to an article on the SF Gate blog entitled “70 California State Parks Fall to Budget Ax.” The article also reports that this includes 14 state parks within an hour of San Francisco, though my beloved Annadel will live on for now. The California State Parks department decided which parks to close based on the amount of public traffic the parks usually receive and which parks held the most vital historical significance. Even closed state parks will remain protected land, but officials may be unable to prevent “transients, thugs, and hunters” from overrunning the open areas, as speculated by the aforementioned article. Reduced public access to state parks will save California $11 million in the 2011-12 fiscal year, and $22 million in 2012-13, which means even more cuts. This $11 million may be only a drop in the bucketfuls of state debt, but every full bucket is made up of lots of drops. But just because I understand it doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Governor Brown intends to offer Californians a chance to regain some of their parks and services with a measure on next year’s ballot offering a tax to fund the parks, but his more right-wing colleagues oppose suggesting any additional tax. My thoughts? It really couldn’t hurt to ask. Let the people who use these parks decide. Maybe they want their parks open and better funded, and maybe they just really can’t afford them right now. Either way, we as Californians are in the unique position of having havens of lush natural beauty practically in our backyards. If nothing else, financial hurdles for our states parks force us to reflect on our fond park memories, our relationship with nature, and how fortunate we are to live in a state so ample in outdoor opportunity.

—Caroline Osborn, Sales and Marketing Intern